exposure?!? people DIE from exposure!

the proliferation of craigslist posts from venues in the bay area offering ‘exposure’ to local bands is thoroughly depressing. why? because ‘exposure’ means ‘play for free… people will see you and that will be good for your band!’ they don’t mention that it will be even better for their venues, allowing them to augment their standard fare with live music… at no cost.

some of the more common themes are:

• ‘please understand we don’t have a budget’
• ‘this is a great opportunity’
• ‘we can offer 2-3 drinks per band member’

here’s my response:

do you have a restaurant, venue or bar? a well-known but hungry band is throwing a private party for friends and fans, and seeks catering in return for exposure.

this is a non-paying gig , but we will compensate you by mentioning your business’s name between every song. if you bring multiple employees to help, we will dedicate songs to each of them, by name.

this is a great opportunity… please understand that we just don’t have a catering budget. we know you know how many hours (years?) and how much effort we’ve put into playing music over the years… just as you know that we know how hard it is to get a restaurant or bar off the ground.

let’s work together! take advantage of the many years we’ve spent building up our fan base and mailing list!

although our club gigs may be infrequent, they are always crowded and buzzing… as opposed to your place, on any given night.

again, this is an opportunity for you to drum up (no pun intended!) business, by leveraging off of an existing customer base… a HUNGRY existing customer base!

while many of our fans and friends are also musicians with no visible means of support, some of them actually do have jobs… good ones… and they go out ALL THE TIME. if they like the food you serve, they will no doubt patronize your establishment and maybe even bring people with them!

again, sorry we can’t help with the costs involved in feeding 50-100 people. on the other hand, we don’t expect you to contribute to our thousands of dollars of equipment… whew! that was close!

given that we’ve been reviewed favorably in multiple publications online, and you only have that one 3-star review on yelp, this is something you should consider.

oh… locally sourced sustainably grown produce, please. please also prepare something for the non-vegetarians.

we are sooo excited that you are considering this… just as we are considering your offers to play for free. at the end of the day, who needs money? this is about PASSION… and opportunity.

please reply to this post with ‘i get it’ in the subject line, to weed out scammers, spammers, and automated responses. please include short bios of you and your employees, suggested menus, and a certificate in good standing from the department of health.

looking forward to exploiting… i mean, working!.. with you.

there may be no such thing as a free lunch, but there’s always room for more respect and support for artists.